I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
