WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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