nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
