theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
