i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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