cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
