get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
