You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
