so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
