You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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