he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
