I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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