I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Do vagina's smell?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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