Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
