i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
