i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
