Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
