Im at strip club and am horny
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
