drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
