Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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