just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
