ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
