I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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