I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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