To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
