You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
