Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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