also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
