its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
