She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
