Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This house was built for laser tag.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You made out with two different species that night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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