Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
