Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
