your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
