Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
