But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
