We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just found a bag of teeth...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
