My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
