If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
