You're my little dorito
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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