I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
