I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
