What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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