Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
