pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So vagazzling was a success
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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