I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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