Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
