they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
