Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
