kristin has been a bad kristin
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
