I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
