ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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