wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
