hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
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