Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Is it penis luge time yet?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
