Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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